Essential Foregiveness

All week I’ve been excited to write another blog post but was wondering what was worth typing about. Get it? Type like talk! Anyhow, I thought, why not a topic that I’m always entertaining, forgiveness. I’m the type of person that tries to help others to implement forgiveness in the toughest of times, forgive others even when the circumstances sting my soul as unforgettable and forever hoping to receive forgiveness from those that I may have hurt or offended.
Let’s dig deep to recognize that it’s very important to forgive ourselves. Often a step overlooked by many including myself. When we don’t get the forgiveness we desire from others don’t allow that to hold you back. In that feeling of hurt, anger, carelessness, recklessness, or whatever may have brought you to that situation. I’m a victim of holding myself hostage for mistakes that I have made in the past. I tend to neglect the fact that when we ask for forgiveness we must forgive ourselves as well. So, for starters when you are asking for forgiveness from someone don’t forget to grant yourself that freedom, first.
Further elaborating on the importance of self-forgiveness, let’s dive in. I heavily contemplated this subject over the past week in correlation of second chances. How often have you forgiven someone, allowed them a “second chance” and been disappointed with that person for a second time? Maybe it was you seeking forgiveness and didn’t exactly know what to do with that second chance to prove yourself past the mistakes. Well, my hold up was approaching forgiveness IF given the opportunity. In thought I’ve begun to label this opportunity as my second chance. I’ve caught myself in a bit of pickle that I thought I had avoided, but instead it’s taken a turn for an unpredictable outcome. I’ve always hated lying, but haven’t always been as aggressive about matters as some may believe me to be now. Over the past two years, I made a conscious effort to stop handling things passively and take a more direct approach. This goal would later lead to adjustments of how I handled people, situations, etc. and vice versa. At times, I still find myself holding back my peace with the use of silence instead of true feelings or admittance as I feel the truth may not be welcomed or willingly accepted in that moment.
Initially facing my situation I had an opportunity to share “my truth” but decided against it. I wasn’t acknowledging my past because I didn’t see the severity of the threat it posed. I was convincing myself that if I’d already come to terms with a previous mistake or self-inflicted growing pain why should I be required to share unwillingly. This belief gets me in trouble in my promotion of transparency. I always advocate to allow your pain, past, and progression to be shared to help encourage others, but found myself shying away this time. The truth regarding my unwillingness to be open at that instance blossoming from the root that I hadn’t truly forgiven myself. I previously believed I did, but now with the opposition I was facing from not being transparent about the situation I was forced to come to terms with the fact I actually was still holding myself prisoner.
Taking a moment to be very vulnerable and honest with you, I have a tendency to be reckless at times which stems a lot of my growing pains.IMG_0668 I’m adventurous and spontaneous which helps the evolution of my recklessness. Through self-reflection, I believe I grow from such outburst and consciously working to improve my behavior and self, over all. Despite my personal growth, the fact still remains that my reckless actions are still a part of my past. A part of my past that I had to be willing to embrace in order to invite the positive impressionable periods.
Now, I’ve gotten myself in a situation where I may have ruined something good I could have had going for myself because I wasn’t able to be honest with myself, others, and most importantly forgiving. It wasn’t until after I had found myself in between a rock and a hard place I was able to recognize the need and finally find forgiveness, but the question then dangled, “was it too late for my opportunity?” Now, as I write this I eagerly wait to see if I’ll be given a chance at forgiveness, a second chance. I was so focused on getting what I wanted I neglected an essential part of my own character that has helped me grow so far and gain so much, today. I urge anyone who may be reading to contemplate forgiveness. Not only when you find yourself seeking it, but when someone may be offending you as well. This post further builds on the previous two, as I hope that they all will, to motivate and encourage us all to remain true to self, to grow into the people we want to be… the people we were intended, destined, designed to be. As influential and impactful we want to be we can’t neglect the importance of forgiveness. Mistakes are inevitable on your journey to greatness, it’s how you respond to error that builds character and should be acknowledged. Even if you find yourself making the same mistake over. Evaluate whether or not the severity of the mistake is decreasing because that even signifies growth. As you become conscious of your mistakes don’t treat them as regrets, but using them as stepping stones. Learn from the situation and forgive yourself. If left undone it may later interfere with your progression in ways you may not be able to instantly imagine but I can assure you the risk isn’t worth exploring. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Forgive to be free.
Matthew 6:14-15
1 John 1:9


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