“We’re not talking about me right now…”
The infamous line used by many when pointing out the flaws of others. Easily falling into the trap of a distraction, we actually are talking about ourselves. It’s easiest to point out the flaws of others when we can relate to them first hand. In some instances we may have not been the person etching the sin into the stone, maybe we were just a character in the story. Just being realistic, either way we came to the realization of an issues it’s generally because we’ve experienced it personally or still going through it ourselves. The good news is that we can help others just as soon as we get help for ourselves.
This time there’s no sweet narrative to go with the revelation. The truth is, I’ve had so many lessons, so many heartbreaks, and made so many mistakes that there’s too many to choose from to illustrate the pain I find in the ultimate mistake. The mistake of not taking time to heed and learn from our past mistakes. We go through so many situations in life that help us to elevate, that help us feel like our growth can trump small errors of the past. In all honesty, the best progression comes from being able to continue to master the lesson of the mistake. If you keep going “up” without acknowledging those mistakes they will continue to repeat themselves… again and again and another time until you decide to work on the problem.
I come to you sharing from first had experiences. Let me also enlighten you that each reoccurrence is more painful than the last. That’s why it’s so easy for us to point out the problem when we see it happening with others. We recognize the issues on the surface as the pain resonates within us internally but how often do we work on correction. I think sometimes we get so far away from a mistake of the past we forget it really happened. We move through life so fast trying to correct the bad with the good an opportunity for the past to repeat itself is left open.
I personally felt that my most reoccurring mistakes have cost me what some may feel is the ultimate price, self-doubt. I began to doubt myself and question whether I could trust myself without even knowing it. With that came low self-esteem. My happy go lucky spirit began to leave me. I woke up hating myself for the mistakes that I’d let happen. I was taking the blame without the thought of forgiveness. I went through the stages of denial. I began to hurt those who loved me and love those who would never care for me as I did them. I literally woke up one morning and knew something was wrong. I knew I wasn’t happy because being too “self-aware” and “consciousness” had gotten in my way. I instantly made a choice to alter things. I knew just because I was evolving out of being naïve from being kicked by my mistakes I didn’t have to lose myself or happiness for that matter
I just want you all to realize that we are talking about ourselves, right now! Don’t wait for someone else mistakes to bring attention to yours while you still ignore the work to be done within yourself. Stand up in your own errors and do what it takes to make them right. Correcting a problem doesn’t necessarily mean the undoing. Sometimes just working towards never letting the situation come to past again or handling it in the same capacity as you did before is a step in the right direction. Take charge, acknowledge the past, incorporate the lessons, and be the person you imagine yourself to be.
As I stated before, I have lost so much from not taking heed to my mistakes. The worst part was that I believed I was learning from them all until I would relive the same mistake under different circumstances. I don’t know what hurts the most, the fact you thought you’d learn that lesson already or that it happened to you more than once. I’ve lost relationships I never thought I would see go, built relationships with people that should have never been trusted with my soul, lost opportunities, and almost myself. That doesn’t have to be you. Don’t wait until you lose it all to realize the unaddressed internalized problems. Take a moment now, while you have a chance to look over the things that went bad in the past and the contributing factors. Look at the things you did right as well. Put it all together so that you can come up with the best solutions moving forward for the greatest outcomes. Take control of your future. When life pushes up against you my advice would be to push back at it. Don’t allow yourself to be defined by your mistakes, but your character shaped. After all, they say once you hit rock bottom, the only place to go is up.
Everyone makes mistakes. I like to call them life lessons. I think about all the mistakes I’ve made thus far, in life, as a motivating factor. I’m thankful to know I have grown from those speed bumps. Everyone isn’t as fortunate to learn from the trips they fall into nor get up. Once I was so consumed by all the wrong turns I’d made in life that it was literally the only thing that I could think about. Now I look at myself as I explore all the growth they’ve brought and realize it’s helping me become exactly who I’m supposed to become for where I am going.